Apologies in advance this is going to be a long emotional post… Look away now if you aren’t interested. I won’t take offence. 😉
Today I’m going to post something I usually wouldn’t post on social media. A transformation.
The above photo is from 2011/2017. Now I wish there was some major weight loss transformation to show you but there isn’t.
- Just left uni
- Struggling to find work, not sure what I wanted to do
- Felt ugly, fat and unhappy with myself and my appearance
- Struggling to find my place in life and felt like I wasn’t good enough and constantly felt like the world was against me.
I was about to face some of the toughest years in my life soon after this photo. I spiraled into depression and anxiety. For more info on that please see my mental health post.
- More confident (not 100% there yet)
- Love myself (again, not 100% there, we all have shit days)
- Stronger, fitter, faster
- Earning good money, focused more positively on a career and work orientated goals
- Making and smashing goals constantly
- Has performed in Aerial shows, and competed in Races
I am a lot happier but I am constantly working to improve my physical and mental health.
- Had been dancing every day at uni
- Was on the pill, binged heavily every time I got upset
- Not sure of exact weight but around this time I was approximately 12+ stone.
- Running for a year and a half
- Aerial on and off for 3 + years
- Eat whatever I like but don’t control my emotions solely on food anymore.
- Has a better relationship with food
- Approximately 10 stone.
I look at the person on the left and just feel sorry for her, in both pictures although I’m smiling I wasn’t very happy and the worse was yet to come. Six years between each picture and so much has happened, I’ve grown up so much and changed in so many positive ways. Anyone who knew me in 2011 may have known I wasn’t the nicest person to myself or to others, I regret some of the decisions I made back then. Now I am thankful I’ve lived through everything and grown as a person. I have been on the biggest roller coaster with my mental and physical health, after the lows it’s been really hard to feel comfortable in my own skin and around other people. Having scars, stretch marks and then feeling fat and ugly I thought I was unworthy of ever being loved or even liked by other people, I realised that this was a mindset I needed to get away from and started making positive steps to love myself and change the way I appreciated my own body. Soon enough I started feeling the love from other people and I realised that things weren’t as bad as I felt like they once were.
I can’t explain exactly how these changes were made, you find what works for you and stick with it. It’s not easy, you need to constantly adjust and adapt and put yourself first in order to get the results you want. For me it was a long hard road with many up and downs. Now I am always adjusting what works for me to maintain and grow.
Bonus picture update:
Today I’m posting something a little different.
Mental Health Awareness Week 2017 is taking place this week, between Monday May 8 – Sunday 14, so I thought I would talk to you a little about my life and experiences and how my running journey has helped with this.
Now I’m starting to earn some serious bling, I’d like to have somewhere to display it. I had eyed up some medal boards that other runners use and loved those that had a bib display and quot on them. I wasn’t a fan of metal hangers, and needed something bigger as my room is pretty bare and would love to fill up some space and incorporate the colors and theme of my room.
A couple of weeks ago I was set to order one from Etsy, it cost approx £30 and I thought it was a great price. Then I put it in my basket and BOOM – Shipping Fees all £50 of them. So I searched the internet for alternative ideas.
I am fortunate to work in a building management team and spoke openly about my need for a medal display, showing my team pictures. They said they could probably give me an off cut of wood. They measured it out for me and kindly drilled me some holes.
Next I found a Quote I liked, I found the fonts online myself and printed. When I did this I was at work and didn’t have my Bibs so had no idea if the quote would be too big. IT WAS. However I am impatient and wanted to do all this in one weekend, so you’ll find as this post goes on the extent of my impatience.
It’s a quite Friday night so I begin working on this project. I smoothed the wood over with sandpaper and cleaned it up then applied a primer, we had some undercoat primer paint lying around from where my mother has up-cycled a few things in the past so that was handy.
A few weekends a go, I stood in B&Q deliberating what colour to use for this project. I picked up this blue paint as I though it would go nicely with the rest of my room and it wouldn’t be too vibrant on my plain white walls.
Remember I said I was impatient? I used a hairdryer to dry the coast of paint so I could do all the painting in one evening. It literally take a couple of minutes to do one coat and then I would have had to wait hours for it to dry to do another, NO THANK YOU. Hairdryer to the rescue. After finishing all the blue coats, I left overnight to dry completely.
Saturday evening: I sit down and trace over the writing… who knew tracing was so hard? I have done this since school and had to search high and low for a sharpener for the one pencil I own. You can see a few clips at the top of the picture below. These are silver clips I brought from WHSmith earlier in the day. I don’t like silver, so I had some left over gold spray paint from another project and spray painted them gold. I had to go outside to do this. It was cold wet and windy. I also used the hairdryer to dry them, because like I said I’m impatient.
With a chalk pen I went over the lettering I had traced. I think it turned out pretty well. If I had the means to do so I would have got lettering stencils, but that’s a bit much when you only need it for a one time thing in a certain font.
Finally I screwed in the Hooks and super gluded on the clips.
Here’s the finished piece with the medals on it. Laid down because I’ve yet to put it on the wall:
And Here is me proudly showing it off:
The total cost of this project was approximately £12 thanks to the generosity of my friends and colleagues. The only thing left to do it put it on the wall and earn some more bling.
Have any of you done anything similar? I’d love to see how you display your race bling.
My Name is Megan and I’m 24 Years old
At this point I would like to disclose that I do not consider myself a writer, and I apologise in advance for any mistakes or poor writing skills.
I am starting this blog primarily to document my journey to my First ever Half Marathon. I am a person who has spent many unhappy years fighting with body confidence and self esteem, and slowly but surely I’ve managed to piece myself back together from a pretty low point. It’s seems like the natural step to set myself a challenge.