As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve barely done enough running. I am now exactly 1 month away from the Disneyland Paris half marathon and not gone above 10k this is now leading me to a crisis of self confidence, I literally do not believe that I can or will be able to do this and I’m disappointed in myself for thinking and feeling that.
I feel if I don’t do it, that would be the biggest let down ever, so I’m still holding out hope that I’ll catch the bug and the next 6 weeks will be gloriously filled with running. *Here’s hoping*
Where did it all go wrong?
Firstly, I didn’t follow a solid plan. Secondly, what I was doing fell to pieces cause life got in the way, Holiday, Parties, Boys etc. All of these things have been great and made the summer AMAZING, however I’ve not been focused on the goals and been more focused on living in the moment and enjoying whats going on around me. Not such a bad thing, but right now I’ve come crashing hard. As of now, not including the Paris weekend where I have to run, I have no holidays or big plans of any sorts to look forward to, so the next thing on my check list is this big running event I feel unprepared and overwhelmed for.
Then anxiety and emotions take over and here I am just wanting to dig a hole, climb in, curl up into a ball (probably listen to Adele) and forget my troubles.
So unfortunately my weekly update for last week is this. I failed, I am a failure, and so far this week I am failing again too. I am not happy to say that or share it but there is no point being dishonest with my readers.
How am I going to fix this?
- I’m going to just say FUCK THIS and get on with it. I’ve always been average in everything I’ve ever done (yes i’m talking about you GCSE’s/Btech/Degree) so why stop now. I have always felt like I was destined to be that one average person, there is nothing special about me.
- I’M GOING TO DO MORE THAN 10K THIS WEEK!
Apologies for the misery, if you want something to cheer you up… Look at these sparkly ears I got for my trip! I’m going to wear the fuck out of these with my shiny bloody Medal.
Anyways tips and advice are always welcome… sorry for the profanity! I’m stressed.